Cro-mags Love M.Doughty

Not the band but actual sturdy, men with large heads and sloping brows (no photo).

Tuesday night (07/26/05), my niece and I (photo) went to see the Magnificent Mike Doughty at Maxwell’s (alliteration not intended). We noted the crowded room was comprised of roughly 7 awkward women and a bevy of Modern-day Cro-magnon Men! Nearly every one of the guys in the room were shaped like Fred Flintstone in Dockers, apart from the dead-ringer for Bob's Big Boy. Admittedly, seeing them sway, croon along with Mike and stand upright was endearing.

However, when the music stopped between songs, they got a little raucousy, demanding to hear “Real Love" (yes, the Mary J. Blige song). There was something surreal about the many, thick-set men requesting a ballad to be sung by a guy they’d most likely head-butt in another situation...yet, touching.

There was even a Cro-mag Hottie. As in, back in the Paleolithic era, he’d’ve been inundated by female Cro-mags, hurling their hair at him hoping to be dragged back to his lair to rut. Unfortunately, this is 2005 A.D.

For the encore, the Band played a sampled, break-beat extravaganza that confused the Evolutionary Throw-Backs a little and we feared there might be violence. Then M.Doughty segued into something more melodic, restoring calm and the stumpy horde swayed along once more. At show's end, they galumphed back to their Condo-Caves, to rise early to forage for fortunes on Wall St.

They say 'Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.' Add to that ‘make sway the Cro-Mags of Hoboken’.

p.s. If you don't know who Mike Doughty is, do yourself a favour and find out, NOW!

Martha's Vineyard is FAB!

There are scads of reasons why I love Martha's Vineyard but, I think this photo of a public toilet at the scenic cliffs of Gay Head says it best. The Gay Head head, if you will. Notice the fresh cut flowers?

Yin Yang Extraction

My first mamogram took place last month, courtesy of the lovely NYU Breast Imaging Center*. After donning a lead apron, I was propped up onto the "Mammotron 3000". As my boobs were being mashed vertically, then horizontally, I wondered, "What Comicbook Geek thought of that name?".

I also realized why mammo's are recommended after age 35; a perky rack would defy being being treated like pizza dough; which could explain the demise of the "Mammotron 2000", the "Mammotron 1000", etc.

Friends warned me that it was going to be mega-painful. It did hurt, but was I supposed to get slightly turned on? The way the Tech grabbed and re-positioned my boob using my nipple as a handle, I contemplated asking her back to my place for a 'tickle fight'.

Side Note: I'm willing to bet that when the Mammo Tech's husband asks, "Honey, how was your day?" he gleefully listens!

A lump was discovered. Not serious, kiddies, relax. The Dr. called it a proteinaceous (sp?) mass - a deposit of protein just hanging out in my right boob.

I've been a vegetarian since 1985. Stupidly, I've been concerned about my protein intake.

The pretty, hyper Dr. w/ a Sweet Tooth, stopped chomping on her giant sugar cookie long enough to show me the lump on the sonogram's monitor. We agreed; it was shaped like a "Yin-Yang" - the Chinese symbol of Balance, representing the two Cosmic Forces of Creative Energy.

"Could that be caused by 20 yrs of tofu consumption?" I asked the pretty Dr., who laughed and said she'd check the journals.

My boobie Yin-Yang was then scheduled for extraction. I was a bit conflicted about its removal. Afterall, she did say it was not life threatening and that it's been there for some time. Its appearance in my boob seems to coincide with my increasing sense of balance. Maybe with it would go my inner-peace and creativity, I feared.

The extraction was attempted, but not fully executed. My boobie Yin-Yang put up quite a fight not to be anihilated! So, now, even though it may be much smaller, enough remained so it can impart its magic.

*JSA (Jodi Service Announcement) Call the brand, spanking new NYU Breast Imaging Center & schedule your Mammo today...you know who you are! 212-731-5002